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Banle ke Sathi Sab Kehu H Auri Bigdale Ke Kehu Nahin (70th BPSC Essay)
Once, a saint visited a village, carrying a beautiful, vibrant parrot with him. Wherever the saint went, the parrot’s charm attracted everyone. Soon, the influential people of the village started gathering around the saint. They invited him to their homes, offered him gifts, and showered him with respect. The saint smiled and blessed them all. However, one day, the parrot flew away. Suddenly, the saint remained the same, but all the attention, hospitality, and crowds vanished. Smiling, the saint remarked, “As long as the shine was there, everyone was with me. Now that only the true self remains, no one is around.”
This story mirrors a harsh truth of society: people stay close during good times but abandon when hardships strike. As long as a person enjoys success, power, wealth, or fame, many people gather around them. But the moment circumstances change and success fades, the same people turn their backs. This very sentiment is captured in the popular saying from the Bhojpuri language: “Banle ke sathi sab kehu h auri bigdale ke kehu nahin,” which means that everyone stands with you during your good days, but no one stands by you during bad times.
By nature, humans are selfish. They prefer to associate with those from whom they derive some benefit. When a person is prosperous and influential, people sing their praises and seek their company. However, when the same individual faces failure or misfortune, most people prefer to distance themselves. This is an eternal truth of life that everyone realizes sooner or later.
There are countless examples of this in society. A businessman enjoys numerous friendships and visitors when his business flourishes. Important people treat him with respect and enthusiasm. But when he suffers financial losses and goes bankrupt, the same friends ignore him, even pretending not to know him. The entertainment world, too, is filled with such stories. As long as actors or celebrities are famous, they are surrounded by admirers and friends. However, once fame fades, they often find themselves alone.
Great thinkers and writers have also observed this harsh reality. Tulsidas, a revered Indian poet, said:
“Saj kulin gun gyan ratan dhanu, jo nahin daridra ke meet.”
(Meaning: Even noble, virtuous, knowledgeable, and wealthy people do not become true friends of a poor person.)
Thus, the world worships success and ignores failure.
Human nature has increasingly become opportunistic. People remain connected only as long as they perceive personal gain. Relationships today are often built on self-interest rather than genuine affection. As soon as a person faces difficulties, many relationships crumble.
The phrase “Banle ke sathi sab kehu h” means that everyone is eager to associate with you when things are going well. They speak sweetly, offer help, and stay close. But “Bigdale ke kehu nahin” signifies that when your situation deteriorates, when pain and hardship come, those very people disappear.
Sometimes, facing hardships is essential because it reveals who your true companions are. Difficulties test relationships and expose true loyalty. A real friend is the one who stands by you in tough times, not just during celebrations. As the saying goes:
“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
In the Ramayana, Lord Rama experiences the same reality. During his time as the prince of Ayodhya, many kings and courtiers were eager to serve him. However, when he was exiled, most of them abandoned him. Only a few true souls, like Bharat, Lakshman, Shabari, and Nishadraj, stayed loyal to him.
Similarly, in the Mahabharata, when the Pandavas faced adversity, most kings refused to help them. Only Lord Krishna remained by their side through thick and thin, proving that true friendship shines during adversity.
Even today, this proverb holds absolute relevance. In professional life, politics, and society at large, opportunism dominates relationships. Those who hold positions of power and wealth attract crowds. However, the moment they lose their status or riches, they often find themselves isolated.
Therefore, a wise person must stay humble during success and courageous during failure. It’s important to recognize and trust only those relationships that withstand the tests of time and circumstances.
Life is a continuous cycle of ups and downs. Success is not permanent, and failure is not final. Hence, one should neither be arrogant in success nor lose heart in failure.
Ultimately, it can be said that “Banle ke sathi sab kehu h auri bigdale ke kehu nahin” reflects a profound truth of life. Those who understand this reality early on are able to recognize true relationships and live a balanced, fulfilling life.
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